Some days I make it my goal to try to do, feel and think the ‘opposite’ of my natural tendencies. For instance, it is very easy for me to always feel the need to rush and get on with my to-do lists of everyday life. So, I make it my goal to let go of that sense of urgency and anxious feelings to allow myself to just stop or slow down. Another sensation I often get bogged down by is wanting to achieve "perfection" in certain things I do.
I have undoubtedly felt this exact need to be a perfectionist in creating art. Wanting to achieve perfection would often lead me to hesitate starting a painting, or to not attempt at all.
The piece you see here is a product of me trying something opposite to what I would normally want to create. Before I began my process I accepted that even ugliness and messiness would be okay. I told myself that the worst thing could happen is I won't like what I see, and will have to paint over it with something else. There is still a visible structure as you can see but within the lines there are no rules, patterns nor consistency. I found there to be so much more freedom and much more joy. This liberation felt wonderful.